Monday, December 31, 2007
UPS truck
click to enlarge
crappy cell phone picture helpfully annotated.
During winter that curve is a car magnet. I almost slid into that ditch once and that would have been exceptionally bad because there was already a car in the ditch. It is common to see a car in that ditch but this UPS truck was prodigious and made it well past the ditch, plowed through the arrow sign and made it well into the cornfield.
Sliding on snow or ice is an incredible amount of fun as long as I don't get stuck in a ditch, hit anyone or anything and no one hits me.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Something I never noticed as a kid
not sure what is different about C3PO then click for a clarification
"I beg your pardon… what do you mean, 'naked'? My parts are showing?! My goodness!" ―C-3PO to R2-D2 in the Phantom Menace
Sure C3PO was whiney and prissy but now you know why Princess Leia kept him around. C3PO : love machine.
I checked Wookieepedia and it says he was fluent in 6 million forms of communication. You can tell just by looking at him that he specialized in the Romance languages. Note from the picture how, ahem, polished he is.
updated: I found this version
Either C-3PO was castrated by a jealous meat bag trying to keep a good robot down or it is detachable.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Popular with the ladies
While Kuntz's is the place where all the guys want to get into this place draws the attention of the ladies.
click to enlarge
click to enlarge
Lousy picture i took while driving past at 40mph
Carl's Bakery, Cafe and Catering.
Examine the pictures for yourself and I think it is safe to say that Carl probably has the biggest cock in town. It is already wearing a hat and is ready for action. Nothing says you have baked goods for sale like erecting a big cock.
click to enlarge
click to enlarge
Lousy picture i took while driving past at 40mph
Carl's Bakery, Cafe and Catering.
Examine the pictures for yourself and I think it is safe to say that Carl probably has the biggest cock in town. It is already wearing a hat and is ready for action. Nothing says you have baked goods for sale like erecting a big cock.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
recycled Christmas
my Christmas card from a few years ago...
click to enlarge
click to enlarge
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
a place to eat
Kuntz's Drive In
There are many things I could say about this...
update
I can't resist.
I've heard that if you eat there you risk getting hair stuck in your teeth.
If it merged with Super Duper Weenie would it be renamed In 'n' Out?
Imagine the advertising : "Eat at Kuntz's - your wife will appreciate it (because, you know, then she won't have to cook for you)"
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Winter Wonderland!
❄Winter Wonderland❄
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight.
Walking in a winter wonderland.
Gone away is the bluebird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song,
As we go along,
Walking in a winter wonderland.
In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
We'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you're in town.
Later on, we'll conspire,
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
The plans that we've made,
Walking in a winter wonderland.
In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
Until the other kids knock him down.
When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,
Walking in a winter wonderland.
❅
contrary to some people's misconception this is not a Christmas song. In fact it is about winter in general. People don't complain that the song "Day Tripper" should only be heard when on a short vacation or when involved with that type of girl so people should lay off of me if I whistle Winter Wonderland all year long.
❄
"He'll say: Are you married? We'll say: No man"
Who knew people used "man" as a slang term in 1934 (when this was written)
❅
"we'll conspire as we dream by the fire"
admit it. That sounds like fun.
❄
"to face unafraid the plans that we made"
sound advice
❅
"we'll have fun with mr snowman until the other kiddies knock him down"
life isn't fair. an important life lesson. Often this part gets left out
❄
"We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way"
again, sounds like fun. I hear this part even less than the above. A wild guess : someone thought "the Eskimo way" sounded like sexual innuendo.
❅
(It isn't really a song about winter - secretly it is a love song)
❄
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Fidel and the ten dollar bill green american
http://history1900s.about.com/library/photos/blycastro.htm
A 1940 letter to Franklin D. Roosevelt, President of the United States, from Fidel Castro, budding dictator, asking :
I guess it never hurts to ask.
btw Is Castro dead yet?
If Castro were born into the internet age maybe he'd have become a Nigerian scam spammer. Or if he has himself cloned. A mini-Fidel.
A 1940 letter to Franklin D. Roosevelt, President of the United States, from Fidel Castro, budding dictator, asking :
"If you like, give me a ten dollar bill green american... because never I have not seen a ten dollar bill green american and I would like to have one of them."
I guess it never hurts to ask.
btw Is Castro dead yet?
If Castro were born into the internet age maybe he'd have become a Nigerian scam spammer. Or if he has himself cloned. A mini-Fidel.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Christmas nears
Christmas nears and I have a list of things to do and no shopping done but apparently I have time for this.
click to enlarge
or sans the awful color.
Roland the red nosed dino had a very shiny nose. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names so he ate them. He's also sensitive about his overbite so don't mention it. He likes carrots and has problems with impulse control.
click to enlarge
or sans the awful color.
Roland the red nosed dino had a very shiny nose. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names so he ate them. He's also sensitive about his overbite so don't mention it. He likes carrots and has problems with impulse control.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Japan looking East
a few japanese drawings made during Commodore Perry's opening of Japan to trade in 1853-54.
Hiroshige woodblock drawing - That flag is wrong. Quite wrong. Too many stripes and interestingly, it was apparently looked upon as not a field of stars but as a print pattern. It is probably the USS Saratoga. It had 10 gun ports but it seems the artist may have decided to put the 10 gun ports in 2 rows.
Perry's ship the USS Mississippi was a hybrid sail / steam ship. The smokestack in the drawing appears made of wood or brick probably because that was the expected material for a chimney. Note the eyes on the ships masthead and stern: a black iris and a white sclera surrounded by a ring of blue. After all, it was the ship of the blue eyed barbarians - what else would blue-eyed refer to?
The Japanese vision of the USS Mississippi is fierce.
"I can pinch an inch, manboob-san!"
Japanese drawing of Commodore Perry. Not sure if I see the resemblance. Note the eyelids. I am slightly disturbed by the facial hair.
Hiroshige woodblock drawing - That flag is wrong. Quite wrong. Too many stripes and interestingly, it was apparently looked upon as not a field of stars but as a print pattern. It is probably the USS Saratoga. It had 10 gun ports but it seems the artist may have decided to put the 10 gun ports in 2 rows.
Perry's ship the USS Mississippi was a hybrid sail / steam ship. The smokestack in the drawing appears made of wood or brick probably because that was the expected material for a chimney. Note the eyes on the ships masthead and stern: a black iris and a white sclera surrounded by a ring of blue. After all, it was the ship of the blue eyed barbarians - what else would blue-eyed refer to?
The Japanese vision of the USS Mississippi is fierce.
"I can pinch an inch, manboob-san!"
Japanese drawing of Commodore Perry. Not sure if I see the resemblance. Note the eyelids. I am slightly disturbed by the facial hair.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
gesture question
German-Italian WW2 propaganda poster
"per arruolarsi nella legione SS Italiana onore fedelta coraggio"
translates to
"to enlist in Italian SS legion loyalty honor courage" (or so says google)
Frankly, I think it looks like a rude gesture. I hate to show my ignorance but does the gesture still mean screw you with a wayward thumb sticking out? If so is it appeal to jerks to join up?
(I think it is poorly drawn too. The hand/wrist seems too broad. This bothers me.)
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I can has gravity?
jaw droppingly funny or incredibly mean
politically incorrect B-29
sigh - this is why I love the internet. I vaguely recall a reading a book that had a picture of a WW2 bomber with a clever name painted on the side, a quick search later and I'm looking at it.
pic from here
Fu-Kemal |
Friday, November 30, 2007
Tiepolo Angels
detail of Education of the Virgin (full picture)
the title sounds like an adult movie. Creepy disembodied angel heads. Curly hair that looks like the product of overnight curlers.
detail of Triumph of Zephyr and Flora (full picture)
Wha! Insect wings! Technically not angels but angel-like guys near Flora the Roman goddess of flowers & spring and Zephyr god of the spring winds.
detail of Martyrdom of St John Bishop of Bergamo (full picture)
must be a tailored shirt to fit the wings growing out of his armpits. Consider for a second the practical difficulties of putting a shirt on if you have giant wings on your back. (apparently, Saint John of Bergamo died of natural causes but due to a translation error was thought to have been assassinated)
Nobility and Virtue Striking Down Ignorance (larger picture)
one pervy angel with his hand up another angel's dress (surely not Virtue's dress!) or as I like to call it "Touched by an Angel" (the entire painting)
detail of Vision of Saint Anne (full picture)
creepy disembodied head angels alongside more normal angels. I would think that would mean that there is a specific distinction of some kind between them but I don't know what.
more on her
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Take a deep breath...
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
potential ad for the 1.618 Weekly (version 2)
Here is version 2 - I think more readable will hopefully prevent people from coming up to 1.618 and asking about towers or the archeology of Babylon.
I think it would look good on a t-shirt or a billboard.
I think it would look good on a t-shirt or a billboard.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Halloween
Happy Halloween.
click to enlarge or else you won't be able to read it
please note Frankenstein's feet
Made for a friend and her husband who dressed up as Homer & Marge Simpson : Homer's SNPP ID badge and a Duff beer label to wrap around a can (links to PDF files).
click to enlarge or else you won't be able to read it
please note Frankenstein's feet
Made for a friend and her husband who dressed up as Homer & Marge Simpson : Homer's SNPP ID badge and a Duff beer label to wrap around a can (links to PDF files).
Sunday, October 28, 2007
potential ad for the 1.618 Weekly
potential ad for the 1.618 Weekly
modified from this which in turn was inspired by Bubblicious Bubble Gum
modified from this which in turn was inspired by Bubblicious Bubble Gum
Saturday, October 27, 2007
a mathematical proof
I did not do this so I can not take credit for its cleverness. I found it on the internet somewhere. You have to admit it makes a compelling case.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
TimB
I've noticed that TimB doesn't beg for money on every post. I guess his dignity restrains him. Fortunately, I don’t worry about his dignity.
give 1
give 2
give 3
give 4
give 5
give 6
give 6 version 1(with minor vulgrity)
give 7
Tim B and his money
give 1
give 2
give 3
give 4
give 5
give 6
give 6 version 1(with minor vulgrity)
give 7
Tim B and his money
Monday, October 22, 2007
Just so you know...
"The heart is like many an instrument, it must be rubbed up and used a lot so that it keeps bright and well."
- Edgar Degas
- Edgar Degas
Some of worst reasons I've ever heard for getting married
a woman who married a guy she didn't really like because she wanted a baby. Eventually they divorced and she told me she wanted to get remarried because she wanted somebody else to mow the lawn (she had more reasons but that was the first one she mentioned)
"I don't know how not to be married." woman got divorced and even before the divorce was final she was looking for a new husband. - not looking for someone to date - she was looking for a husband.
"He has a good job with room for advancement!" (She was really excited about that. He was a total dork. He would brag about how, if not for a wrist injury, he could have been a professional bowler (btw I can only assume that she rejected me because my likelihood of becoming a professional bowler is quite low). she also told a girl that he wasn't very good at, ahem, certain things. Her friend pointed out that men are trainable and she responded with why bother it doesn't last very long.)
I asked a guy I worked with why he married his unattractive, overbearing, mean and petty wife and his first response was "Well, all my friends from college were getting married..."
"I don't know how not to be married." woman got divorced and even before the divorce was final she was looking for a new husband. - not looking for someone to date - she was looking for a husband.
"He has a good job with room for advancement!" (She was really excited about that. He was a total dork. He would brag about how, if not for a wrist injury, he could have been a professional bowler (btw I can only assume that she rejected me because my likelihood of becoming a professional bowler is quite low). she also told a girl that he wasn't very good at, ahem, certain things. Her friend pointed out that men are trainable and she responded with why bother it doesn't last very long.)
I asked a guy I worked with why he married his unattractive, overbearing, mean and petty wife and his first response was "Well, all my friends from college were getting married..."
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Ass World Express
click to enlrge
Ass World Express : for all your ass and ass related needs and wants!
Ass World Express : Like Federal Express but worldwide and with ass.
When your ass absolutely, positively must be on time use Ass World Express
rejected Ass World Express slogan : What can brown do for you?
(I suppose I should point out this from a different view. Still, it is a simple pleasure of mine to drive by and briefly see "Ass World Express")
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
for 1.618
a flower for 1.618. just because.
I tried to do a watercolor but it was a disaster. Luckily I had used just enough water that it didn't spontaneously burst into flames due to its own ugliness. I need to practice more. The drawing isn't great either but it is the thought that counts.
a photograph of the flowers in the watercolor.
click to enlarge
(actually you can see the watercolor in the background and it looks much better out of focus.)
I tried to do a watercolor but it was a disaster. Luckily I had used just enough water that it didn't spontaneously burst into flames due to its own ugliness. I need to practice more. The drawing isn't great either but it is the thought that counts.
a photograph of the flowers in the watercolor.
click to enlarge
(actually you can see the watercolor in the background and it looks much better out of focus.)
Sunday, October 7, 2007
The time a middle aged German woman tried to kidnap me
When I was probably about 10 years old the family went to Arizona to visit some relatives and see the Grand Canyon. At the Grand Canyon I saw a large shiny red Mercedes tour bus. Soon, two German women came up to me and started speaking in German. I had seen enough old World War 2 movies to know how to say "Sprechen sie deutsch?" but in the movies no one ever replied "No, I don't speak German" in German so I didn't know what to say and I said nothing.
Soon, she was barking orders at me in German. I stood there. She glared down at me. Suddenly, she grabbed my arm and started to pull me back to the bus. I regained my balance and dug in my heels. Then I gave her a look of "Are you crazy! Are you trying to kidnap me! What's wrong with you!" It probably would have worked better if I had said the words instead of trying to express the thoughts in a look.
I should mention that I have a fair amount of German (technically Prussian and Swiss) heritage and I've been told that I look German. More than once people have walked up to me, assumed I am German and tried to start a conversation in German.
The other woman was now back with the bus driver. Apparently everyone else was on the bus except for the two old women and the little blond boy they were trying to kidnap.
With the arrival of the bus driver the old woman crossed her arms and started looking smug. The bus driver straightened himself, put his nose in the air, looked down at me, outstretched his arm, pointed to the bus, and started saying things loudly in German.
At this point, I considered getting on the bus. I was somewhat bored and I thought it would be an adventure. I thought I could go for a ride and when they found out I wasn't German they would be obligated to take me back where they found me. I bet that fancy bus has a refrigerator in it. I could get a nice cold Coke. Who knows where they would go next.
As I stood there looking at the bus, the bus driver grabbed my arm and started to drag me back to the bus. His grip was much tighter and he lifted me off the ground as much as he dragged me. Startled by this, I finally spoke. He let go of me and turned and stared at the old woman for a little bit and turned red. Then he apologized and explained that "These women thought you were German." He sounded angry. He said "these" with the word drawn out and almost hissing. While they walked back to the bus, with the bus driver holding the arms of the women to guide them, the old woman, looking slightly confused, kept craning her head around to look at me - the little blond boy she was so close to having.
Soon, she was barking orders at me in German. I stood there. She glared down at me. Suddenly, she grabbed my arm and started to pull me back to the bus. I regained my balance and dug in my heels. Then I gave her a look of "Are you crazy! Are you trying to kidnap me! What's wrong with you!" It probably would have worked better if I had said the words instead of trying to express the thoughts in a look.
I should mention that I have a fair amount of German (technically Prussian and Swiss) heritage and I've been told that I look German. More than once people have walked up to me, assumed I am German and tried to start a conversation in German.
The other woman was now back with the bus driver. Apparently everyone else was on the bus except for the two old women and the little blond boy they were trying to kidnap.
With the arrival of the bus driver the old woman crossed her arms and started looking smug. The bus driver straightened himself, put his nose in the air, looked down at me, outstretched his arm, pointed to the bus, and started saying things loudly in German.
At this point, I considered getting on the bus. I was somewhat bored and I thought it would be an adventure. I thought I could go for a ride and when they found out I wasn't German they would be obligated to take me back where they found me. I bet that fancy bus has a refrigerator in it. I could get a nice cold Coke. Who knows where they would go next.
As I stood there looking at the bus, the bus driver grabbed my arm and started to drag me back to the bus. His grip was much tighter and he lifted me off the ground as much as he dragged me. Startled by this, I finally spoke. He let go of me and turned and stared at the old woman for a little bit and turned red. Then he apologized and explained that "These women thought you were German." He sounded angry. He said "these" with the word drawn out and almost hissing. While they walked back to the bus, with the bus driver holding the arms of the women to guide them, the old woman, looking slightly confused, kept craning her head around to look at me - the little blond boy she was so close to having.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Putty tat escalation
Putty tat escalates feud with bird by replacing tail with large unsharpened, but somewhat pointy blade sticking out of his butt.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
another submission to the 1.618 Weekly
click to enlarge
by me.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
A subtly explicit painting
click to enlarge
Kathrin by Thomas Eakins
1872, Oil, 62.75in (1.59m) x 48.25in (1.22m)
Kathrin Crowell was the sister of Thomas Eakins' school days friend and brother in law Will Crowell. In 1874 they were engaged but did not set a date. Some have speculated that Eakins wanted to establish himself before taking on the responsibility of marriage. However, apparently, progress was slow and she died in 1879. There is other speculation about their relationship but nothing definitive.
This was his first major portrait although it isn't thought to have ever been exhibited during his life. Notable is that it is a candid portrait. It isn't a stiff "someone sitting in a chair looking important while they get their portrait painted" sort of portrait. It is a brief moment of her life. She isn't looking at the viewer nor to the right or left. She is looking down with her face in shadows. My instincts say that her face is in shadows because he saw a technical challenge and wanted to show that he could.
Like many (maybe all) of Eakins' portraits he does not idealize or try to make pretty. I don't know how she felt about that. I suspect she would have wanted him to paint her as a beautiful, pink tinted angel. He studied in Paris under Jean-Leon Gerome, notable pinup artist of the 19th century, and likely had the ability but chose to paint a plain, rough reality.
In a letter to his sister in 1868 he wrote "If I ever marry it will likely be with a girl of southern feeling good impulses & heart healthy & able to bear strong beautiful children" When I first read that I thought it sounded a little strange but then i realized I'm not sure what someone should be looking for. (btw in the book there was no comma. I'm not sure if was looking for a girl of "southern feeling good impulses" (I'm not exactly sure what that would mean) or a girl with "southern feeling and good impulses")
Oh, why is this an explicit painting? Take another look at it. She is fanning her self while toying with a kitten in her lap. Or to put it another way : She is getting hot as she plays with her pussy (meow!). Yes, pussy really was a slang term used during the 1800s. I don't know if that was his intent or I have a dirty mind.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
another for the 1.618 Weekly
(click to enlarge)
by me, not 1.618
more on the Sea Shepherds :
Sea Shepherd - Galapagos Islands Listed as a World Heritage Site in Danger
The Sea Shepherds (last seen ramming whaling boats) have decided that the birthplace of evolution should not be subject to Natural Selection.
Dogs illegally brought to the islands by fishermen have killed hundreds of iguanas and drove them into hiding.
but they do bring good news from the Galapagos:
There is even one ship that transports only beer to the islands on a regular weekly run from the mainland.
then they go back to being sticks in the mud
Tourist numbers must be restricted. Illegal immigration must be curtailed and the population stabilized. Invasive species must be removed. The law prohibiting dogs and cats must be enforced. Development must be halted. Poaching must be eradicated and punitive sentences against poachers imposed. The Galapagos rangers must be given more authority and they must be armed.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
More sample pages of the 1.618 Weekly
click image to enlarge
Behind Closed Doors a political expose only in the 1.618 Weekly!
extra large version
issue #2
(special edition cover)
extra large version
Behind Closed Doors a political expose only in the 1.618 Weekly!
extra large version
issue #2
(special edition cover)
extra large version
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Oh, Canada!
In a bid to discredit Canada at the United Nations, Iran is equipping world diplomats with a 70-page booklet on Canada’s alleged human rights violations.
Yes, Canada , the Great White North. I wonder if it is just a list of people Iran thinks Canada should have hung from a crane?
I hear that page 3 says "I know you are but what am I?" and pages 4-17 are all about the human rights violation of claiming Canadian Bacon is bacon.
Friday, September 21, 2007
The 1.618 Weekly the second edition (coming soon!)
(I'm pretty sure karaoke in a thunderstorm is a bad idea. Also, is it a free t-shirt that says Paco on it or is it a Free Paco! t-shirt because he is being wrongfully imprisoned?)
Salad pancakes with salad? Waffles are always and in every way better than pancakes.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The 1.618 Weekly (advance proof)
(click to picture to enlarge)
or click here for the really large version (about 700K)
1.618 requests Ashy's opinion
Monday, September 17, 2007
new logo for the U.N.
in honor of 1.618's entry at tb.
also the other day I color corrected the picture of Green Peter Garrett (Aaaaaarrrrrrgh, fire baaaaad!)
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Note to new parents (this means you, Ash)
Do NOT store your child in a waterproof container! Even if it is raining! Make do with a tiny baby umbrella.
(as an aside, the kid in the illustration doesn't even fit in the container. Someone would have to force the lid closed)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Over the edge
A friend of mine for about 10 years is over the edge. She has always been a lefty. She used to be fun to argue with. I rarely convinced her to change positions but I think I showed her that there was logic and reasons why people disagreed with her it wasn't (just) because conservatives are evil. And she showed me that I'm a heartless bastard and I'm okay with that.
We drifted apart over the years. We see each other less and less. Also, she would say she'd call me back tomorrow and not actually call for 2 weeks. I don't like that. It has been about a year since I last heard from her. I sent her a Christmas card in January. I think it's over. I'm not sure I'm disappointed, the last time I was with her wasn't entirely fun :
1) she prefaced this by saying "you'd have to be a idiot not to realize this" : She claimed that in order to be middle class in the United States that you have to make at least $200,000 a year. I laughed out loud and asked if that was the median and where and how that figure came from. She had nothing to back it up, but she knows it is true. (btw, this isn't NYC. She lives in an older but nice house that cost less than 100K - I wonder what she would do with $200K/year)
(I think she got tired of saying "You'd have to be (enter pejorative here) to think (something she disagrees with)" only to have me volunteer that I might, in fact, be evil or stupid. She'd make a face of complete horror every time.)
2) she claimed that "Big Pharma" only steals research from the NIH and produces almost no useful drugs. They then sell non-useful drugs at unreasonablely high prices. The price needs to be lower so everyone can have access to these non-useful drugs. She also claimed that "Big Pharma", apparently since they have nothing else to do, creates diseases in order to sell a cure. I asked if she have any proof or evidence or even implication of this massive conspiracy involving thousands of people all over the world? I thought she'd back down. Basically, they are corporations, therefore evil, and therefore can be presumed guilty without any evidence at all.
3) she was really rude to the waitress when the kitchen screwed up her salad. Technically they screwed up her order 3 times but it was a gigantic salad and it wasn't like they accidently put an undercooked goat's head in it. Too many sprouts, aiiieeeeeee! And it wasn't the waitress's fault that the kitchen screwed up. She got huffy and declared that she knows one of the owners and that he'll be hearing about this. That she was a nice person was one of the things I liked about her.
We drifted apart over the years. We see each other less and less. Also, she would say she'd call me back tomorrow and not actually call for 2 weeks. I don't like that. It has been about a year since I last heard from her. I sent her a Christmas card in January. I think it's over. I'm not sure I'm disappointed, the last time I was with her wasn't entirely fun :
1) she prefaced this by saying "you'd have to be a idiot not to realize this" : She claimed that in order to be middle class in the United States that you have to make at least $200,000 a year. I laughed out loud and asked if that was the median and where and how that figure came from. She had nothing to back it up, but she knows it is true. (btw, this isn't NYC. She lives in an older but nice house that cost less than 100K - I wonder what she would do with $200K/year)
(I think she got tired of saying "You'd have to be (enter pejorative here) to think (something she disagrees with)" only to have me volunteer that I might, in fact, be evil or stupid. She'd make a face of complete horror every time.)
2) she claimed that "Big Pharma" only steals research from the NIH and produces almost no useful drugs. They then sell non-useful drugs at unreasonablely high prices. The price needs to be lower so everyone can have access to these non-useful drugs. She also claimed that "Big Pharma", apparently since they have nothing else to do, creates diseases in order to sell a cure. I asked if she have any proof or evidence or even implication of this massive conspiracy involving thousands of people all over the world? I thought she'd back down. Basically, they are corporations, therefore evil, and therefore can be presumed guilty without any evidence at all.
3) she was really rude to the waitress when the kitchen screwed up her salad. Technically they screwed up her order 3 times but it was a gigantic salad and it wasn't like they accidently put an undercooked goat's head in it. Too many sprouts, aiiieeeeeee! And it wasn't the waitress's fault that the kitchen screwed up. She got huffy and declared that she knows one of the owners and that he'll be hearing about this. That she was a nice person was one of the things I liked about her.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
For relief from aches and pains
scanned from a 1971 women's magazine (may have been Good Housekeeping but I don't recall)
(aspiring model runs to her mother with magazine in hand)
"Mom! Mom! Look! Look, I'm a professional model!"
(mom's jaw drops)
(about a minute of awkward silence)
"Honey, do you... do you know what that is?"
"Sure, I do! It is a deep, penetrating cordless massager. It says right there on the page."
(aspiring model points to the magazine)
"Sweetie, do you know what that's...ummmm... used for?"
"Well, duh!! You can tell by the picture! When my jaw gets tired I can use that to relax it"
(mom faints)
the ad's text:
"Enjoy the benefits of a cordless massager - Beauty is more than skin deep. Deep gentle penetrating vibrations from battery-operated massager soothe neck, shoulder muscles, arms, legs and tired feet. Helps stimulate skin to a new radiance when used with your favorite creams and lotions. Revitalizing vibrations bring satisfying relaxation; relief from aches and pains and stimulates circulation. Cordless massager comes in 3 models. Uses standard size batteries (not included) available everywhere." (The 3 models are the "Mini Massager", "Regular Massager" or "Deluxe Massager" (4.5", 7" or 10"))
By the way, it does say "satisfaction guaranteed or money back"
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Freshly squeezed
click to enlarge
They say this is not an image of some guy squeezing her melons for freshness.
This is a Rembrandt painting called "The Jewish Bride". Although painted in the 17th century it was titled "the Jewish Bride" in the 19th century because it was thought to be a father placing a wedding necklace on to her. At some point, someone must have asked why the father would cop feel and it was decided that he must be the groom. Now it is looked at as a biblical illustration of Isaac and Rebecca's wedding.
I find it interesting because :
1) he is totally copping a feel. Really. If he were transiently draping the necklace over her shoulders then would her hand be touching his the way it is? It is a caress for him to linger. Would he hold the necklace that awkwardly? His right hand holding it by his fingertips. His left hand resting on her shoulder. Note the shadow from his thumb falling directly on her not above her. (Art historians seem to disagree and stick with the necklace story - it is possible that I am a dirty minded horn dog who is seeing things)
2) They aren't looking at each other. Or at anything in particular. Each lost in their own thoughts. Ignoring each other except through touch and even that seems minimal. (more obvious in the large version than the small)
3) They don't look happy. Boobs make men happy and I believe that to be a universal truth. He looks like he is going to knock on it and listen for an echo. If you cover the right side of her face then I think she looks serene if not happy. Cover the left and she look sad and worried. Together, I think she looks stressed.
The lesson to be learned from this painting : all her jewelry didn't make her happy - he should have tried flowers.
another random obeservation:
His right arm is enormous! Three possibilities : he has an old woman's upper arm fat, he has been spending every lonely night without her building his strength in that arm or he is wearing a puffy shirt.
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