Thursday, September 6, 2007
click to enlarge
They say this is not an image of some guy squeezing her melons for freshness.
This is a Rembrandt painting called "The Jewish Bride". Although painted in the 17th century it was titled "the Jewish Bride" in the 19th century because it was thought to be a father placing a wedding necklace on to her. At some point, someone must have asked why the father would cop feel and it was decided that he must be the groom. Now it is looked at as a biblical illustration of Isaac and Rebecca's wedding.
I find it interesting because :
1) he is totally copping a feel. Really. If he were transiently draping the necklace over her shoulders then would her hand be touching his the way it is? It is a caress for him to linger. Would he hold the necklace that awkwardly? His right hand holding it by his fingertips. His left hand resting on her shoulder. Note the shadow from his thumb falling directly on her not above her. (Art historians seem to disagree and stick with the necklace story - it is possible that I am a dirty minded horn dog who is seeing things)
2) They aren't looking at each other. Or at anything in particular. Each lost in their own thoughts. Ignoring each other except through touch and even that seems minimal. (more obvious in the large version than the small)
3) They don't look happy. Boobs make men happy and I believe that to be a universal truth. He looks like he is going to knock on it and listen for an echo. If you cover the right side of her face then I think she looks serene if not happy. Cover the left and she look sad and worried. Together, I think she looks stressed.
The lesson to be learned from this painting : all her jewelry didn't make her happy - he should have tried flowers.
another random obeservation:
His right arm is enormous! Three possibilities : he has an old woman's upper arm fat, he has been spending every lonely night without her building his strength in that arm or he is wearing a puffy shirt.
Posted by Col. Milquetoast at 12:40 AM 14 comments:
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Scanned from a 1940s magazine.
He has -ahem- "Pipe Appeal"
Note the 1940s leaf raking uniform : hat, sweater vest, pipe. Possibly doubling as his picking up chicks outfit.
Exposure to his "pipe appeal" may have caused her lunatic stare. (click the picture to judge for yourself)
What guy wouldn't want a girl interested in his "pipe appeal"?
This second ad explains that "Pipe Appeal is that 'something extra' that has a real appeal to women"
"You're really 'solid' - when you've got P.A. (Pipe Appeal)" - Conversely, if you are not solid then you probably don't have the Pipe Appeal that the ladies enjoy.
Posted by Col. Milquetoast at 7:58 PM 5 comments:
This isn't funny or really even very good. I should have done it in oils. I would have had it done much quicker and it'd look more consistent. It doesn't look like I thought it would.
Posted by Col. Milquetoast at 7:39 PM 8 comments:
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