Freshly squeezed

click to enlarge
They say this is not an image of some guy squeezing her melons for freshness.

This is a Rembrandt painting called "The Jewish Bride". Although painted in the 17th century it was titled "the Jewish Bride" in the 19th century because it was thought to be a father placing a wedding necklace on to her. At some point, someone must have asked why the father would cop feel and it was decided that he must be the groom. Now it is looked at as a biblical illustration of Isaac and Rebecca's wedding.

I find it interesting because :
1) he is totally copping a feel. Really. If he were transiently draping the necklace over her shoulders then would her hand be touching his the way it is? It is a caress for him to linger. Would he hold the necklace that awkwardly? His right hand holding it by his fingertips. His left hand resting on her shoulder. Note the shadow from his thumb falling directly on her not above her. (Art historians seem to disagree and stick with the necklace story - it is possible that I am a dirty minded horn dog who is seeing things)

2) They aren't looking at each other. Or at anything in particular. Each lost in their own thoughts. Ignoring each other except through touch and even that seems minimal. (more obvious in the large version than the small)

3) They don't look happy. Boobs make men happy and I believe that to be a universal truth. He looks like he is going to knock on it and listen for an echo. If you cover the right side of her face then I think she looks serene if not happy. Cover the left and she look sad and worried. Together, I think she looks stressed.

The lesson to be learned from this painting : all her jewelry didn't make her happy - he should have tried flowers.

another random obeservation:
His right arm is enormous! Three possibilities : he has an old woman's upper arm fat, he has been spending every lonely night without her building his strength in that arm or he is wearing a puffy shirt.

Pipe Appeal

Scanned from a 1940s magazine.
He has -ahem- "Pipe Appeal"
Note the 1940s leaf raking uniform : hat, sweater vest, pipe. Possibly doubling as his picking up chicks outfit.
Exposure to his "pipe appeal" may have caused her lunatic stare. (click the picture to judge for yourself)
What guy wouldn't want a girl interested in his "pipe appeal"?



This second ad explains that "Pipe Appeal is that 'something extra' that has a real appeal to women"

"You're really 'solid' - when you've got P.A. (Pipe Appeal)" - Conversely, if you are not solid then you probably don't have the Pipe Appeal that the ladies enjoy.

meh.

This isn't funny or really even very good. I should have done it in oils. I would have had it done much quicker and it'd look more consistent. It doesn't look like I thought it would.

Unappealing niceness

There is a woman at work that I have never liked. She is too nice. I've been convinced from the first time I met her that it was fake. Most people seem to assume she is genuine.

The first time I met her she acted like we were best friends, spoke like she'd known me for years and she was "hands on"[1] She was like that with everyone. I guess some people liked the attention but i think that is like someone bragging that they slept with a hooker. If it is available to everyone then it is meaningless that you got it.

Also, a year or 2 ago she called, said "Hi, how are you?", I responded with "I'm miserable", to which she said "That's good, can I speak to Jim." I mean, if you are going to pretend you care and ask then you should at least pretend to care enough to listen to the response.

Today, I overheard a conversation outside of my door. Apparently someone quit, called her and wanted to personally come in and say goodbye because the quitter was fooled into thinking that M. cared. M. then went on about how she was glad the she was quitting, that it was difficult for her not to tell her that and basically mocked that the quitter for thinking that she felt otherwise.

No point to this other than to say that I like her a bit less than I did before and that, in this case, my gut instincts were right.

footnotes:
[1] by "hands on" I mean she touched people in ways she probably read in a book would be reassuring or familiar. I don't mean she was groping me or sliding her fingers up my thigh but due to my aforementioned irresistibleness I can't rule out that she wasn't thinking about it.

Blairite Babies

click for the full picture...

Ash_ as a wee lass. (for some reason, she reminds me of Popeye)

Col. Milquetoast. Just for the record, neither of my parents were Squiggy.
I assume I was not drunk when this picture was taken.

If wronwright doesn't step forward then perhaps I'll simply assign him to creepy eyed evil baby in a dress
wronwright?

Stripper Bare