Monday, October 22, 2007

Some of worst reasons I've ever heard for getting married

a woman who married a guy she didn't really like because she wanted a baby. Eventually they divorced and she told me she wanted to get remarried because she wanted somebody else to mow the lawn (she had more reasons but that was the first one she mentioned)

"I don't know how not to be married." woman got divorced and even before the divorce was final she was looking for a new husband. - not looking for someone to date - she was looking for a husband.

"He has a good job with room for advancement!" (She was really excited about that. He was a total dork. He would brag about how, if not for a wrist injury, he could have been a professional bowler (btw I can only assume that she rejected me because my likelihood of becoming a professional bowler is quite low). she also told a girl that he wasn't very good at, ahem, certain things. Her friend pointed out that men are trainable and she responded with why bother it doesn't last very long.)

I asked a guy I worked with why he married his unattractive, overbearing, mean and petty wife and his first response was "Well, all my friends from college were getting married..."


Ash said...

Those are pretty bad, but I have more.

"I married him because he's big... you know, down there."

"I married him because I want his staff discount."

"I married him because his cousin is cute."

Now, why size matters over skill, I don't know.

Why staff discounts over earnings (he worked for a freaking supermarket, and was not paying his way through uni) counted, I don't know.

And why she didn't make a play for the cousin, I don't know.

Note: they're all different women.

Col. Milquetoast said...

his cousin is cute

maybe it was a contest. She didn't win so she ended up with the first runner-up?

I want his staff... discount (at a supermarket)

That may have crossed the line between funny and sad.

big... you know, down there

The evolutionary benefit of thick ankles is rarely discussed.

I've known some girls who would not stop talking about bigness. One held up her hands up to show the exact size I had to stop her and explain that I really don't need that knowledge. Conversations can be awkward enough without me saying to her boyfriend "so, about this big, huh?"

I used to know a girl, mentioned previously, who cheated on her boyfriend with a complete asshole. Macho and self assured is one thing but he was also an undeniable jerk to everybody. But bigness was mentioned as being in his favor. Her justification was "but I wanted to!" and she thought that was a good reason to cheat.

1618 said...

Colonel, sometimes people are driven to get married for financial reasons. Some women do not explore the possibity the road travelled honestly can be far more exciting than buying into realities which will fade someday.

Good relationships are about talking chatting smootching kissing and at least a common interest like writing golf art, newspapers, wanting a family etc..... That's my idea anyway/.

Ash said...

Colonel, each time I heard these, I just had to walk off. I'm not going near any of those arguments!

Having met the family in question, I'd say she settled for the eighth or nineth runner up.

If I'd ever told anyone about the size of Jesse's... ankles, he would have never spoken to me again. Maybe I should have...

Col. Milquetoast said...

Ash, how he would react is probably dependent on what you say about it.

Good relationships are about talking chatting smootching kissing and at least a common interest like writing golf art, newspapers, wanting a family etc..... That's my idea anyway/.

1.618, I sigh affectionately in your direction. I hate to sound naive but it is hard to difficult to understand how people can NOT think that way.

Ash said...

Nah, Colonel, he would have gotten very, very annoyed if he thought I'd discussed it with anyone. I don't know why, it would have mostly been praise.