Thursday, November 5, 2009

because even babies like choice

Enfamil baby food box with two nipple options
Enfamil baby food/formula has "Two nipple options" to make it as similar to the real thing as possible. Because even babies like choice.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Peter Paul Rubens

The Way To Calvary by Peter Paul Rubens painted about 1636

The Way To Calvary by Peter Paul Rubens painted about 1636.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

the post in which I indirectly confess to being a dork

I've been buying these little superhero figures for my nephews and they, as kids, keep a mental list of which characters have been made and which characters they'd like to be made.

Interestingly, considerably less supervillains have been made than superheroes (I suppose, so as to not encourage the little ones into becoming world conquering supervillains). My nephews mentioned that there was no Modok figure in the series so I told them I could probably make one.

below is Modok as he first appeared in the comic books.
Modok aka M.O.D.O.K. The Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing from Tales of Suspense #94
Gigantic head, a fashionable headband, sits in a comfy flying chair with his hand on his joystick, has a plan for world domination : what's not to like...

The story behind his big head is that he was working for a group of evil scientists who used him as a guinea pig in an attempt to create a "Mental Organism Designed Only for Computing" which mutated him into a guy with a ginormous head and an atrophied body who proceeded to take over the scientists organization. He also christened himself "Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing" (M.O.D.O.K.) If only he'd been a more well-adjusted person he might have called himself M.O.D.O.D. - Mental Organism Designed Only for Dancing or maybe chosen a less career limiting name that would acknowledge his ability to multitask.

Modok, in a way, was a sympathetic character. Between his stark lack of a sense of humor and his gigantic head Modok probably had a hard time getting a date. And he isn't what you'd call traditionally handsome.

Some draw him as a guy with an enormous head with his arms carelessly added sticking out from the side of his head. That bothers me.

sketch of the skeleton of Modok aka M.O.D.O.K. aka The Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing
sketch of how distorted Modok's skeletal structure would have to be.

I wasn't completely faithful to the design. I'm afraid I didn't distort it enough.
homemade sculpture of Modok aka M.O.D.O.K. aka The Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing
It is only about 3.5 inches tall so it could fit in with the other figures, but I imagine a larger sculpture would be easier.
homemade sculpture of Modok aka M.O.D.O.K. aka The Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing
While not that great it I'd say it isn't bad considering I don't know what I'm doing. My only other experience in sculpture was mediocre relief in wax a decade ago. I've learned a lot about what not to do.
homemade sculpture of Modok aka M.O.D.O.K. aka The Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing
It still needs work.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Still Stripping After 25 Years

I admit I was a little concerned when I saw that my mom owns a book called "Still Stripping After 25 Years." My first thought was that a stripper who has been doing it for 25 years, although experienced, might be past her prime stripping years. Then I noted it was written by Eleanor Burns and I thought "Eleanor" is not a very sexy stripper name.

Apparently, stripping another meaning I'm not aware of.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Shall We Dance

Fred Astaire dances with girls in Ginger Rogers masks.
from the movie Shall We Dance (1937) (which btw also has the "You say tomato, I say Tomahto" song and "They Can't Take That Away From Me").

Fred Astaire decides if he can't dance with Ginger Roger's character then he'll dance with her image. He does his dance number with 20 girls who each have a realistic mask of Ginger's face. And boy, was that creepy.

Fred Astaire dances with girls in Ginger Rogers masks.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

editorial decisions

A few years ago I bought an old medical dictionary (The American Illustrated Medical Dictionary, 20th edition, printed in 1946). I soon discovered that it wasn't very helpful because terminology has changed so much. Looking things up on the internet was usually both easier and better. Occasionally I'd use it to look something up if I didn't have the internet available or I'd flip it open & read a few entries when I was bored.

It has 1668 pages and boasts 885 illustrations. Of the 885 illustrations some are portraits of notable people (which is a pretty much a waste of space in a dictionary, I'd say). A random page has 44 entries on it. Assuming that is typical then there are about 73,000 entries in the book. The title page notes that 240 illustrations are portraits leaving 645 useful diagrams. That is 1 useful illustration for every 113 entries. One would imagine that scarcity would drive the editors to come up with criteria that would insure only the most significant entries and the entries that could best be explained with an illustration would get an illustration. On the other hand, someone might insist that 4 different types of hymens absolutely must be illustrated. Oh, and that the entry on elephantitis should definitely include an illustration of elephantitis of the scrotum.

Friday, March 6, 2009

A Public Service Announcement : a difference between men and women

A difference between men and women - a public service announcement

Women tend to look at themselves or other women, very carefully and examine each and every conceivable area. Then they score each area and think, for example, "okay, these shoes are 88% sexy, 14% slutty (in the good way), 18% slutty (in the bad way), 22% cute, 94% nice, 40% voluptuous, 21% fat, 9% unfashionable, 6% retro, 52% cool, an 60% sure another girl will like them/be jealous of them/hate her for having them" She then moves on to the next item/physical feature and scores it (again, using a potentially infinite number of variables). Then she averages all of the scores for all of the features together, weights the average based upon an unknown formula (it is known to be partially based upon her current mood and whether she likes the woman being examined or not) and then comes to a conclusion.

Men look at women differently. If a woman asks a guy to tell her if she looks good in an outfit he :
step 1) looks at her and more likely than not gets completely distracted by one single feature (ie a boob, luscious lips, legs, if she is smiling etc)
step 2) asks himself "Does (that feature he was distracted by) look good?" This is generally a simple yes or no question.
step 3) Either blurt out the answer or take a moment to make the answer more than a one word sentence and if the answer is "no" then he has to guess if she really wants his opinion or not and the consequences of the wrong answer.

(ie a woman asks "do you like my shoes?" guy looks at shoes, notes that they are on her feet, notes the color (in case she asks), looks at her legs, follows her leg upward, looks at her hips, checks for cleavage, decides he likes the way she stands with her hands on her hips and he thinks about her boobs and thinks they look good and answers "yes, those shoes look good.")

Of course, occasionally guys get stuck on the wrong part and declare that an otherwise gorgeous woman looks practically like Ernest Borgnine and they say things like "Salma Hayek has a weird chin. Blechh!"

Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Day

Hercules and Omphale getting frisky by Fran├žois Boucher circa 1724

Hercules and Omphale (getting frisky) by Fran├žois Boucher circa 1724. How frisky? Two cupid frisky.




Here is a statue of Omphale dressed in a lion skin holding a club at her side and it is not Omphale sitting while standing erect and happy to see you.


I also learned from wiki that "Hercule et Omphale" is a short pornographic poem by Guillaume Apollinaire from a book called "Les onze mille verges" (The eleven thousand penises). That is one hell of a book title (assuming it isn't a sequel) but the poem doesn't impress me.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Art as a Creative Endeavor : Francesco Primaticco vs Niccolo dell' Abbate

the painting Ulysses and Penelope c1560 by Francesco Primaticco - a look at artistic plagarism
Ulysses and Penelope by Francesco Primaticco


the painting Venus and Cupid by Niccolo dell' Abbate - a look at artistic plagarism
Venus and Cupid by Niccolo dell' Abbate



Or maybe not that creative.

I suspect that "Ulysses and Penelope" is the original and "Venus and Cupid" is the facsimile for the following reasons :

  1. Ulysses touching Penelope's face looks romantic but Cupid's hand looks like he is waiting for her to spit out a quarter.
  2. Cupid has a mullet.
  3. Unlike Penelope who appears to be fidgeting with her hands, Venus appears to be making a rude gesture with an erect thumb on one hand between two open fingers on the other.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Happy Nude Year

Jacques Louis David's study for the painting Le Serment du Jeu de Paume (The Oath at the Tennis Court)

Part of Jacque Louis David's study for the painting "Serment du Jeu de Paume" (Oath at the Tennis Court) which had been initially intended to be an enormous life sized testament to the idea of the republic. I hadn't realized the French Revolution had so much to do with the Rights of Man to go without pants.

The final painting was hung at the Versailles tennis court where the oath took place. That's kind of like someone having their portrait painted and then hanging it around their neck (not that there is anything wrong with that).