Friday, March 6, 2009

A Public Service Announcement : a difference between men and women

A difference between men and women - a public service announcement

Women tend to look at themselves or other women, very carefully and examine each and every conceivable area. Then they score each area and think, for example, "okay, these shoes are 88% sexy, 14% slutty (in the good way), 18% slutty (in the bad way), 22% cute, 94% nice, 40% voluptuous, 21% fat, 9% unfashionable, 6% retro, 52% cool, an 60% sure another girl will like them/be jealous of them/hate her for having them" She then moves on to the next item/physical feature and scores it (again, using a potentially infinite number of variables). Then she averages all of the scores for all of the features together, weights the average based upon an unknown formula (it is known to be partially based upon her current mood and whether she likes the woman being examined or not) and then comes to a conclusion.

Men look at women differently. If a woman asks a guy to tell her if she looks good in an outfit he :
step 1) looks at her and more likely than not gets completely distracted by one single feature (ie a boob, luscious lips, legs, if she is smiling etc)
step 2) asks himself "Does (that feature he was distracted by) look good?" This is generally a simple yes or no question.
step 3) Either blurt out the answer or take a moment to make the answer more than a one word sentence and if the answer is "no" then he has to guess if she really wants his opinion or not and the consequences of the wrong answer.

(ie a woman asks "do you like my shoes?" guy looks at shoes, notes that they are on her feet, notes the color (in case she asks), looks at her legs, follows her leg upward, looks at her hips, checks for cleavage, decides he likes the way she stands with her hands on her hips and he thinks about her boobs and thinks they look good and answers "yes, those shoes look good.")

Of course, occasionally guys get stuck on the wrong part and declare that an otherwise gorgeous woman looks practically like Ernest Borgnine and they say things like "Salma Hayek has a weird chin. Blechh!"

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